As promised...

Its the first day of April. My life has changed so much since last April....in some respects for the better in others for the worse, I guess I'm just breaking even, which isn't the worst thing.

I guess I wonder if I've progressed at all. Am I better then I was? Have I grown or developed, matured?

I think I've become more honest with myself. I'm better able to internally articulate my feelings to myself-clearly I've always known how I felt but I wasn't always honest about why. There were lots of, "I don't know why I do/say/act up like that", when really I did know I just couldn't bear to say it aloud. But is being able to honestly assess helpful or important without action?

Anyhow this wasn't intended to be an introspective post. There are actually some good things happening in my life. I got a new job!!! Yay. And I'm honestly scared of it which I'm looking forward to. It's actually going to be challenge. I will have to figure out things b/c they must be figured out and not b/c I have to pad or bill my hours. How novel is that. Its a risk, and a leap but in this legal market why not? There's not some other more wonderful option that I can think of. So I'm gonna step up and step out on a bit of faith that this will work. Its exciting.

I've been in this strange wanting/needing companionship space. I actually considered for a whole couple of minutes letting my law school ex take me on a weekend get-a-way. Why, you ask? B/c I wanna at least play boo'd up for a weekend, do some couply stuff, be pampered and hopefully get this desire out of my system. But then I snapped back to reality....I can't go nowhere wit that fool.

I've been on this total eating healthy/work out kick. I'm really proud of myself-exercising everyday is a totally new addition to my life. It's kinda nice. My body feels good. I plan to have a killer body by summer, or fall, or winter...basically however long it takes. I've even discovered how to exercise regularly and maintain my press!!! Its incredible I know. My hair is not dumb fly like it usually is, but its still fly and not as puffy as one would expect. Be prepared though, if I get my 21 year old body back, you won't be able to tell me nothing, nor will you likely be able to stand me. Sorry. I apologize in advance.