So its Friday morning I have a hearing downtown LA, so as my usual I hop the lovely blue line to save me the gas and parking (as an added bonus I get to read and see my people). As I'm walking to buy my ticket I hear two dudes talking on the steps to the platform, one comes over to where I am to watch me and the other stays put.
Now I know that there is no way not to cross their path so I get my game face on, brace myself for the duo ghetto combo. I'm not sure if I'm the only one who notices this but there is strength in numbers-you pass one ghetto dude and you might get some whispered comments in your direction, perhaps even an outloud "hey girl!" But that's really about it. You pass through two or more and they feed off one another, they are commenting about you/at you as much for your benefit as for each other.
And sure enough I hit the stairs and the youngest one thinks I am beautiful, sexy, I've got it like that, damn girl, etc. The older just keeps looking at my behind and smacking his mouth sucking his teeth. I pass quickly yet politely say good morning to both. As I'm near the top of the stairs and all they can see is my behind walking up stairs (is there a better viewpoint of me? Doubtful.) The younger says "you are the definition of a beautiful black woman". Nice! Right?! The older says in reply "naw she ain't that fine." Oh. Ok.
So now I'm on the platform reminding myself that I am in fact not that cute. And here comes the older one walking toward me...in what can only be described as a pimps ode to the Lakers (I take Laker love in all forms), an enormous rayon/poly blend purple and yellow button up (I almost wrote "dress shirt", but that just couldn't possibly be right) that nicely complemented the tattoo under his right eye and the one on his neck.
So he's asking me what I do, informs me that he is a pimp (said with all seriousness) and that he is moving to vegas for one month to make a quick 30k and then he's coming back here, maybe. Ok two things: if you can go somewhere and make 1000 per day, why would you leave that place? Secondly, is it "moving" if you are only staying 30days?
Anyhow, we chat. He apparently thinks I'm L7 (a square), convo wanes. My train comes and I'm like well I catch it down here so bye, he replies "go on then, ain't noby keeping you here!" Now mind you, it was all said with a smile in a jokey way but still it was like all chatty, chatty cool and then 'bitch get on!' Oh. Ok.
As I'm walking away I chunk him the dueces and turns out this means that I do know more then I'm letting on, with this one motion I negate my L7 status. So he comes walking over yelling about "oh you just gone chuck me the deuces, see you need a backhand (while making the motion), you need to be put in line, etc." I chuckle and state that I'm a suburb girl who knows nothing about nothing, I'm from Rancho Cucamonga with a little Pomona thrown in. His reply: "oh you got Ptown in there, Sugafree damn near invented this pimpin' ish."
By now I'm getting on the train and realizing that he is getting on train with me and the train car is EMPTY. Great, just what I wanted alonetime with a pimp. On an empty train one would think he would sit in front of me or across the isle, nope he sits right next to me. Now I have to figure out a nice way to tell him to get away from me and sit elsewhere, b/c I've seen "American Pimp" and I know how it can switch from all good to all bad in a second. And I really didn't want to start my morning in a slap fight with a pimp showing unintentional Laker love.
He says "I'm Bougie by the way." I didn't know if he meant that as an adjective or...then I realized it was his name. NICE. And to further impress upon me his stupendous level of class, "feel my shirt...this shit is soft...you feel that?" Sadly I think he was under the impression it was silk...it wasn't.
In the meantime he is wiping his running nose and I spy what I think is my way out of sitting with him..."are you sick?" I ask? "I don't want to be sick!" He assures me that he's not sick his nose is just running from the cocaine from last night. I also learned that coke goes well with filet mignon (and he pronounced it pheonetically mig-non...how the classy do it), and causes you to wake up angry. Now I've seen "what's love go to do with it" as well and recall what coked up Ike did to Tina...needless to say I settled into my ride with a pimp named Bougie and decided to endure his closenss.
For a brief moment we had a pleasant and rational conversation about the merits of the straight life, and traveling, and as the next stop came near he turns his full body toward me and says:
"So uh, you ain't gettin no younger, so whatchu wanna do?"
I have no clue what he meant by that, I don't understand the context, I don't know if he meant was I planning on continuing the straight life vs. joining him, if he meant was I planning on joining him for the day, if I wanted to come to vegas with him for his "move", or simply if I was going to give him my phone number. I don't know, and will never know b/c I fell out laughing, loudly, full head back tilt, mouth open. He laughed at me laughing but I think it was a serious question.
The stop came, he hugged me goodbye, wished me a nice day and left to me still cracking up.
Later in the day I'm telling my cousin and her Australian boyfriend about a pimp named Bougie that I met on the train, and boyfriends immediate response was: "Pimps ride the train?" Oh but they do, oh but they do.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Spring...
He's having a baby.
The most recent love of my life called to let me know that he is expecting a baby in October.
I have been done with our relationship since Feb. 2010, yet we have remained friends, phone calls, a couple dinners, lunches, etc. Our "break-up" wasn't contentious, he did precisely what I knew he would and it was over just like that. When he reappeared as he always does I stuck to my "I'm totally over you and this relationship" guns and eventually my heart cooperated with where my head was. My heart frequently regressed but fortunately my head was resolute and I never acted on those ill advised setbacks.
So now we find ourselves chatting about life and what nots. He still trying to weasel his way back into my good graces/bed and me shutting him down just short of begging. I find it impossible not to be his friend at the very least. All the things that made me love him are still the same, he is still funny, charming, caring, supportive, so on and so forth. Therefore to me our friendship is perfectly natural, he did somethings in our relationship that I didn't appreciate but he is still one of my favorite people.
One of my favorite Eric Roberson songs is "Open Your Eyes" and in it he tells a lover:
I can pray for your dreams
Even if that truly means
That if your dreams come true
That I will not be with you... Forever
And that is how I feel. He is now a friend and despite whatever deep down feelings I might harbor that still held a bit of hope that one day years from now we might be able to work out, above all I want him to be happy. Even if its not with me. And since he has always wanted kids and we all know my feelings on this particular womb holding a bambino, this is how it was always going to end.
That is what this is an ending, the death of a possibility. That was the source of my initial shock, sadness, couple of tears (it was like 3, I ain't no punk...I've cried more over Laker losses)...I'm done with that phase though. Now I am just trying to get to the bottom of what it is that he wants from me at this point.
It seems that he doesn't want to foreclose on the possibility of us (despite my reminders to him that that is done and over with), while still trying to play house and make it work with his new baby momma. Essentially he wants me to be his back-up chick, the just in case main chick doesn't work out fall back plan. Typical. Per him I'm supposed to play some sort of auntie, god-mother sort of role in the kids life...I can't for the life of me figure out why on earth I would ever want to do that.
In other life news, everything else is still moving right along. I'm pretty happy and healthy...though I have been fighting the urge to dance hard. An urge which I intend to satisfy this weekend or sometime soon.
Live it up ya'll!
The most recent love of my life called to let me know that he is expecting a baby in October.
I have been done with our relationship since Feb. 2010, yet we have remained friends, phone calls, a couple dinners, lunches, etc. Our "break-up" wasn't contentious, he did precisely what I knew he would and it was over just like that. When he reappeared as he always does I stuck to my "I'm totally over you and this relationship" guns and eventually my heart cooperated with where my head was. My heart frequently regressed but fortunately my head was resolute and I never acted on those ill advised setbacks.
So now we find ourselves chatting about life and what nots. He still trying to weasel his way back into my good graces/bed and me shutting him down just short of begging. I find it impossible not to be his friend at the very least. All the things that made me love him are still the same, he is still funny, charming, caring, supportive, so on and so forth. Therefore to me our friendship is perfectly natural, he did somethings in our relationship that I didn't appreciate but he is still one of my favorite people.
One of my favorite Eric Roberson songs is "Open Your Eyes" and in it he tells a lover:
I can pray for your dreams
Even if that truly means
That if your dreams come true
That I will not be with you... Forever
And that is how I feel. He is now a friend and despite whatever deep down feelings I might harbor that still held a bit of hope that one day years from now we might be able to work out, above all I want him to be happy. Even if its not with me. And since he has always wanted kids and we all know my feelings on this particular womb holding a bambino, this is how it was always going to end.
That is what this is an ending, the death of a possibility. That was the source of my initial shock, sadness, couple of tears (it was like 3, I ain't no punk...I've cried more over Laker losses)...I'm done with that phase though. Now I am just trying to get to the bottom of what it is that he wants from me at this point.
It seems that he doesn't want to foreclose on the possibility of us (despite my reminders to him that that is done and over with), while still trying to play house and make it work with his new baby momma. Essentially he wants me to be his back-up chick, the just in case main chick doesn't work out fall back plan. Typical. Per him I'm supposed to play some sort of auntie, god-mother sort of role in the kids life...I can't for the life of me figure out why on earth I would ever want to do that.
In other life news, everything else is still moving right along. I'm pretty happy and healthy...though I have been fighting the urge to dance hard. An urge which I intend to satisfy this weekend or sometime soon.
Live it up ya'll!
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Lunch!
I've been talking to this man, he's been saying what I like and
he makes me smile when I'm down, so-oo down.
He says sweet things in my ear, all the things that I need to hear.
But that's as far as its gone I promise, I promise.
But I enjoy it, I love it so...
Oh little D. We dated for a minute years ago, and he was great. But I couldn't get over the occasionally gay things he would do or wear. I need excessive outward displays of machismo, I can't take the "I spent 20 minutes coordinating this hat, jacket, shoe combo. And I would have been more then happy to put something together for you as well." You know those dudes that you feel like you have to dress for? Not be cute for, but actually wear the name brand stuff or never repeat outfits b/c you know that while he is looking at T&A he is also acutely aware that those shoes were from 3 seasons ago?
D is/was one of those. So when he told me he loved me years ago I couldn't say it back. And he knew that and he was ok with it and was willing to wait for me to feel it. I can't recall exactly how it ended, I think I met Jov somewhere in there, and well-he had been shot 6 times and the only brand he could talk about intelligently was Nike. Uber Alpha Male.
We both saw other ppl, he started dating another young lady with my name. And she is so opposite of me, it makes me wonder how a man could want both of us. D is a southern man, and a large part of my fan base are southern men because I have a certain asset that they value down there in the south: Thickness.
She got a donk, she got a donk, she gotta a donk, she gotta donk, shake sumtin'
And a bra size with more letter D's then numbers. Which per him are his two favorite things in life. So then pre tell why is the new Jennwill flat chested and infected with noassatall disease? Oh, and she is mexican. She is really cute, very nice, and seems to make him happy. But how can you have been in love with both Serena Williams and Zoe Saldana (both references are compliments to the bodies of both she and I and used for effect but you get the point)?
Anyhow he has made a reappearance in my life and we have been having lunch. I told him I love and hate the lunches. They are great fun, we've always had a great time together, he is so gentlemanly and bossy, he has picked some wonderful restaurants, and he makes me feel gorgeous, he is so attentive, its all been...perfect. But then I go back to my manless life and wonder if I let one get away? Should I have just been secure since he was so secure in his manhood? Could he have been the one, and now I missed my happily ever after? So on and so on and so on.
The main issue is, I don't want to disrespect or do anything that I wouldn't want my man doing with one of his 'friends' at lunch. And that is my greatest concern. I think its easy for both he and I to fantasize about how wonderful our time together was, making it this thing that it wasn't since it is currently out of reach. I told my book club about the situation and they suspect that he is testing the waters, to try to see what I'm willing to do-help him cheat or be the replacement to the current Jenn. I am willing to do neither and won't even entertain any of such a discussion. But I do recognize that our lunches need to be dialed back to once every other month, instead of the current twice a month program we are on. Why do we need to spend so much time together? I mentioned to him that its like taking a child to a toy store allowing them to play with their favorite toy for an hour and then snatching the toy away and escorting them swiftly out of the store-twice a month.
I enjoy his company, love to be treated well but the trying to mind my p's and q's while he seems to be purposefully pushing my "I can't control the words coming out of my mouth" buttons is more then your girl can bear.
he makes me smile when I'm down, so-oo down.
He says sweet things in my ear, all the things that I need to hear.
But that's as far as its gone I promise, I promise.
But I enjoy it, I love it so...
Oh little D. We dated for a minute years ago, and he was great. But I couldn't get over the occasionally gay things he would do or wear. I need excessive outward displays of machismo, I can't take the "I spent 20 minutes coordinating this hat, jacket, shoe combo. And I would have been more then happy to put something together for you as well." You know those dudes that you feel like you have to dress for? Not be cute for, but actually wear the name brand stuff or never repeat outfits b/c you know that while he is looking at T&A he is also acutely aware that those shoes were from 3 seasons ago?
D is/was one of those. So when he told me he loved me years ago I couldn't say it back. And he knew that and he was ok with it and was willing to wait for me to feel it. I can't recall exactly how it ended, I think I met Jov somewhere in there, and well-he had been shot 6 times and the only brand he could talk about intelligently was Nike. Uber Alpha Male.
We both saw other ppl, he started dating another young lady with my name. And she is so opposite of me, it makes me wonder how a man could want both of us. D is a southern man, and a large part of my fan base are southern men because I have a certain asset that they value down there in the south: Thickness.
She got a donk, she got a donk, she gotta a donk, she gotta donk, shake sumtin'
And a bra size with more letter D's then numbers. Which per him are his two favorite things in life. So then pre tell why is the new Jennwill flat chested and infected with noassatall disease? Oh, and she is mexican. She is really cute, very nice, and seems to make him happy. But how can you have been in love with both Serena Williams and Zoe Saldana (both references are compliments to the bodies of both she and I and used for effect but you get the point)?
Anyhow he has made a reappearance in my life and we have been having lunch. I told him I love and hate the lunches. They are great fun, we've always had a great time together, he is so gentlemanly and bossy, he has picked some wonderful restaurants, and he makes me feel gorgeous, he is so attentive, its all been...perfect. But then I go back to my manless life and wonder if I let one get away? Should I have just been secure since he was so secure in his manhood? Could he have been the one, and now I missed my happily ever after? So on and so on and so on.
The main issue is, I don't want to disrespect or do anything that I wouldn't want my man doing with one of his 'friends' at lunch. And that is my greatest concern. I think its easy for both he and I to fantasize about how wonderful our time together was, making it this thing that it wasn't since it is currently out of reach. I told my book club about the situation and they suspect that he is testing the waters, to try to see what I'm willing to do-help him cheat or be the replacement to the current Jenn. I am willing to do neither and won't even entertain any of such a discussion. But I do recognize that our lunches need to be dialed back to once every other month, instead of the current twice a month program we are on. Why do we need to spend so much time together? I mentioned to him that its like taking a child to a toy store allowing them to play with their favorite toy for an hour and then snatching the toy away and escorting them swiftly out of the store-twice a month.
I enjoy his company, love to be treated well but the trying to mind my p's and q's while he seems to be purposefully pushing my "I can't control the words coming out of my mouth" buttons is more then your girl can bear.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
