Sunday, May 10, 2009

Summer...

Because it didn't feel right going in the other post...

Summer is basically here. How do I know?

I've started my cocoa butter regimen to erase winter's bumps and bruises from my legs.

I've begun summer dress shopping and wearing in earnest.

The Honey party series at the standard rooftop starts this Saturday.

I've bought my hair and have an appointment to have my weave put in.

And I've been working out. Which always means that hot weather is coming.

Needless to say, its officially summer in the city. Yippee!

I have been uncharacteristically insecure about my weight lately. and i'm not sure how to knock it off. Typically i am comfortable in my own skin and years ago learned that I actually like my body, I like my big butt, my tree trunk thighs, ample bossom, and even my rolly-polly midsection (ok actually I loathe that part, but its mine so i'll take it). After a lifetime of needing the validation of other people (men) to believe that I was fine, some time ago I got over it, determined within myself that I was lovely with or without validation. Incidently that confidence somehow made me even more attractive (as difficult as a feat as that may be...how does one improve upon perfection-hehehe). But lately, i've been in doubt. A few unintentionally hurtful comments, some not even really hurtful until compunded by the rest, including one from the last person to see me naked and voila i'm back living in insecure city. Actually that's not true, i'm not living there, just staying in a crappy hotel there. it's a passing thing, I know it is. But still. When do I get all the way secure? I think Oprah said it happens in the 40s, maybe 50s.
I'll get my swag back. I ain't gone let these folks worry me, as my mom would say.

I've got big plans for this summer, possibly too big...June I want to go to Dallas to see Krys. July EMF with JAC. And then sometime between August and December I want to spend a week with my mom and a week lying on a beach in the caribean. Also I just started my new job in April :) I'm wondering if all my travels might not be a bit too ambitious.

Nonetheless I am hype for the upcoming months...

5 comments:

jendayi said...

enjoy your summer bella. wish i was there with you.

as for the travels, Sean asked me to go to El Salvador as well. i want to go, but sheesh. can i do it all?

mia. said...

I've been having weight issues, of late, as well.

Boo...

Ugh. I don't even wanna talk about it, but you know where I am if you ever need an ear.

Jenn Will said...

El Salvador? I'm trying to go to places that I will make it back safely from. Granted I have no clue whether or not El Salvador is having problems...but they sound like one of the drug trade states and may be caught up in Mexico's mess...all information that I have gathered from various fictionalized television shows and therefore all the way true.

Vickilyn said...

I don't know an insecure JennWill. . .not sure she exists to me!!!!

T.a.c.D said...

something tole me today that i needed to come over here and see what's up with you..and boy am i glad i did!
1. i need to talk to you about getting me some hair..
2. i can relate on so many levels...just when you think you got it, BAM you realize you don't...but like you said its just a passing moment...your confidence and love of yourself is what made me say from the jump "yo i dig this girl...she is who she is and i luv it!" no matter what just stay focused on your happiness it will all fall into place