Tuesday, December 18, 2007

On the train...

Medicine is a wonderful and scary thing. I have had migraines since I was two so over the years I've tried what seems like every painkiller known to mankind. In more recent years they have developed migraine specific meds and while effective the side effects are a trip. When I took it last night the pain and symptoms went away and I felt much better, happy and alert despite it being after midnight. However the next day side effect is that I will be inexplicably meloncholy-pain free but sad. Its crazy to me that meds can have that kind of effect on mood, state of mind. I recognize that there are many who utilize mood altering drugs to their benefit it just seems like some advanced technology from a Jetsons type world.
To some extent it makes me understand addiction (I saw a stage play based on the life of Ray Charles this wknd, and Mario's new video about his mothers addiction yesterday-so addiction has been on my mind). I can understand the attraction to consistent "happiness", carefree despite whatever the reality of your world is. But I don't think that the feeling lasts-i think the initial "happiness" ppl experience is what they are consistently striving to get back to-maybe its just the ability to enter the altered reality and "get away" for at least a limited time.
I just don't think the gap between perscription dependant individuals and illegal substance abusers is that wide. Both are using a chemical substance to alter what they naturally are-be it bi-polar, depressed, stressed,etc....

I'm returning to this topic on my train ride home, the previous was written on my way to work. I'm listening to Damien Rice's "The Blowers Daughter" and I can't concentrate on the previous topic. This song...I can't even explain what it is about the song that gets me...likely its the connection to the movie "Closer"...but even without that I think this song is so beautiful-although honestly I only know what he's talking about for parts of the song-he can't take his eyes off someone, who it seems like he might be breaking up with, and she may or may not be the blower's daughter. Lol.

My other favorite movie song "You made a fool of me" by Me'shell N'dgeochello from "Love & Basketball". That song gets me, esp when combined with that scene! Sheesh that was deep!

To be honest I just love meloncholy music. I love it when I feel an artist's pain, when I can hear in their voice their passion, angst, anger etc...Music is so powerful.

Alright that's all the nonsense I got for ya'll right now :)

1 comment:

jendayi said...

I gotta hear this Damien song. You gotta send it to me.

Do you know that you often talk about medicine, illness, addiction, drugs, etc.? lol. You seem to have a love/hate, fear/fascination with the whole subject! That's so funny.