Because it didn't feel right going in the other post...
Summer is basically here. How do I know?
I've started my cocoa butter regimen to erase winter's bumps and bruises from my legs.
I've begun summer dress shopping and wearing in earnest.
The Honey party series at the standard rooftop starts this Saturday.
I've bought my hair and have an appointment to have my weave put in.
And I've been working out. Which always means that hot weather is coming.
Needless to say, its officially summer in the city. Yippee!
I have been uncharacteristically insecure about my weight lately. and i'm not sure how to knock it off. Typically i am comfortable in my own skin and years ago learned that I actually like my body, I like my big butt, my tree trunk thighs, ample bossom, and even my rolly-polly midsection (ok actually I loathe that part, but its mine so i'll take it). After a lifetime of needing the validation of other people (men) to believe that I was fine, some time ago I got over it, determined within myself that I was lovely with or without validation. Incidently that confidence somehow made me even more attractive (as difficult as a feat as that may be...how does one improve upon perfection-hehehe). But lately, i've been in doubt. A few unintentionally hurtful comments, some not even really hurtful until compunded by the rest, including one from the last person to see me naked and voila i'm back living in insecure city. Actually that's not true, i'm not living there, just staying in a crappy hotel there. it's a passing thing, I know it is. But still. When do I get all the way secure? I think Oprah said it happens in the 40s, maybe 50s.
I'll get my swag back. I ain't gone let these folks worry me, as my mom would say.
I've got big plans for this summer, possibly too big...June I want to go to Dallas to see Krys. July EMF with JAC. And then sometime between August and December I want to spend a week with my mom and a week lying on a beach in the caribean. Also I just started my new job in April :) I'm wondering if all my travels might not be a bit too ambitious.
Nonetheless I am hype for the upcoming months...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
23,000...
My great uncle passed a couple weeks ago and the memorial service was finally on Saturday. He was 80 years old, married for 47 to his lovely Nadine who he fiercely protected and cared for.
I didn't find out until he passed that he was the reason that my mother married my step-father. Her husband, my father, had been running around with his "girlfriend" and other baby-momma and basically continuing his 3-5 year assault on my mother's emotional health. When she was presented with interest from my step-father. She called my great uncle Sonny, and cried about how she loved my dad, he was the one, why couldn't he just act right, blah, blah, blah. Sonny said, "you need to get over it. That man (his nephew) does not love you. You are two young to wait on him, since he may never ever act right. You have a man that wants to be with you, that wants to raise your children, and to be the spiritual head of your family, pull it together and let that man love you." She paraphrased but said that it was the most hurtful, direct, helpful and wise advice she had recieved throughout her whole ordeal with my dad. It worked and at least in part b/c of that conversation, my mother managed to get over my dad and wound up in a loving happy relationship.
The brother giving the talk at my Uncle's memorial brought up something that has since stuck with me. The average life span is about 23,000 days (63 years old). He compared it to having $23,000, how would you spend that money? Would you frivilously spend it, on the hot item of the moment, would you hoarde it all and save it for a rainy day? Or would you invest it and let your money make money? Relating it back to our lives do we spend our limited amount of time on frivilous pursuits? Are we simply allowing the time to pass us, or are we doing things now to ensure us an everlasting future? I think that resonated with me b/c 23,000 is such a relatively small number. I always tell myself that I have time to pull it together, but I'm already nearing the halfway point, I'm at 10,220!! What have I been doing with my days?
I didn't find out until he passed that he was the reason that my mother married my step-father. Her husband, my father, had been running around with his "girlfriend" and other baby-momma and basically continuing his 3-5 year assault on my mother's emotional health. When she was presented with interest from my step-father. She called my great uncle Sonny, and cried about how she loved my dad, he was the one, why couldn't he just act right, blah, blah, blah. Sonny said, "you need to get over it. That man (his nephew) does not love you. You are two young to wait on him, since he may never ever act right. You have a man that wants to be with you, that wants to raise your children, and to be the spiritual head of your family, pull it together and let that man love you." She paraphrased but said that it was the most hurtful, direct, helpful and wise advice she had recieved throughout her whole ordeal with my dad. It worked and at least in part b/c of that conversation, my mother managed to get over my dad and wound up in a loving happy relationship.
The brother giving the talk at my Uncle's memorial brought up something that has since stuck with me. The average life span is about 23,000 days (63 years old). He compared it to having $23,000, how would you spend that money? Would you frivilously spend it, on the hot item of the moment, would you hoarde it all and save it for a rainy day? Or would you invest it and let your money make money? Relating it back to our lives do we spend our limited amount of time on frivilous pursuits? Are we simply allowing the time to pass us, or are we doing things now to ensure us an everlasting future? I think that resonated with me b/c 23,000 is such a relatively small number. I always tell myself that I have time to pull it together, but I'm already nearing the halfway point, I'm at 10,220!! What have I been doing with my days?
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