Suds...

It has been a tough couple years for my family. Maybe its because I have so much extra family, both my parents remarried before I was 8 years old and with that came 2 additional sets of family.
Then there is my religious family who I spend more time with then my actual family and therefore share very close bonds with. Then there are my friends who have transcended that title and are also family.

Basically I'm somehow related to you and everyone you know. And with knowing that many people there are bound to be tragedies, deaths, and other assorted sorrows. My favorite person in my step father's family died today, a young 5w, a single 18 year old son, a wife of 20+ years and not a person in his life he hasn't helped in some way. He had cancedr that ravaged him in less than a year, and this morning he quietly took his last breath in front of his mother, wife, son, and sisters. It had been clearly coming for days, doctors had warned us, nurses prepared us, his own body had made it clear, yet and still it breaks the heart when that actual moment arrives.

I know its terrible but I nearly ALWAYS am crying for the people that are still living, the pain a mother or wife must feel, it just rips my heart out. My step father essentially raised this man and to see my dad, a consistent pillar of strength, have a moment where his emotions were raw and palpable, where he wept, unrestrained for just a moment before he returned to being strong. My tears today were for him, they were the ones his need to be there for others would not allow him to shed. My cousin is at peace, pain free, and at rest. Its the rest of us who have to live with his abscense and bear the grief.

I brought them home later, my mother made a nice dinner, we talked, laughed, watched basketball. At the end of the evening my dad did something I've never seen him do...he voluntarily, without provocation or encouragment washed my dishes.

To know me is to know that I hate doing dishes. I spent nearly EVERY night in my parents house doing dishes, I vowed to never do them as an adult-regardless of my bank account Vicki will be at my house every other week to handle that task. To know my dad is to know that he doesn't do kitchens, no cooking, no cleaning, he leaves that domain exclusively to the women. But tonight he did dishes. And I quietly came up beside him and I dried and put them away. It was the absolute best moment of my day.

A little better...

It hasn't been the best couple of weeks. Entirely too much stuff going on in the world and in my own personal little world.

So today while driving home from work, feeling particularly down I get the following text:

"Have I ever told you why I like you? Just curious...Cuz you are cute but so very fine. Soooo soo smart and still down to earth. Very spiritual but still sexier then a mutha and because you are such a dear friend of mine. Thanks for being one bad ass sista."

How sweet is that? Is that not the best compliment ever!? The timing was on point, and the sentiment was genuine.

When I sometimes forget that I am in fact dope, its nice to be reminded, by someone who isn't even trying to get in my pants.