A few...

1. I am sick of being alone. I do sometimes get irked by random couples I see out, on some "she got him, and I'm alone. SERIOUSLY!?" Before being alone was cool b/c I was choosing to be alone, there were ppl I could have been with I just didn't want them. Now, though. There are no ppl. No one is trying to holla, no one is giving me the option to say, naw I'm cool-Thanks though. Nonetheless it is what it is. It doesn't feel like something I have control over, I'll meet someone when I meet someone. But until then I would rather be pessimistic and assume that this is my life get used to it, than to hope for someone who may never come and be disappointed.

2. I need a new convertible strap bra. The one have now is literally being held together with safety pins. Which means I will have on a fab outfit with a bra underneath that might pop off at any moment. I need to get that together ASAP.

3. I spoke with my most recent Ex recently. He and his wife just celebrated their one year anniversary. This is the first time since a couple days before his wedding that we have spoken. The last time we spoke he asked if we could come over to my house 'to chill'. I knew at the time that he had a baby on the way and that he would likely marry the mother since that is the type of dude he is. I declined his visit, and immediately he retracted the offer as if he was just playing. You know the old, "I'm just playin'...unless you are going to do it?!" On facebook two days later I saw that he got married. Needless to say we didn't speak for a year. The conversation we had last week was as if we hadn't missed a beat. Jokes from the jump, our old teasing routines about my consistent 0-60 reaction speed, and his inability to be in a relationship longer than 6 months at a time, etc. hilarious stuff. I have a tendancy to make light of this relationship since at the time it seemed like maybe I had imagined the whole thing. He let it go so easily that maybe it was all in my head the whole time. But in our conversation each time I even jokingly suggested that our relationship was anything less than a full fledged relationship he would shut that down immediately. Apparently it wasn't just me. That made me feel good and gave me some closure to that chapter of my life.

4. Go Gabby!! I recently read Melissa Harris-Perry's book Sister Citizen and in it she discussed the notion of Kinship. Its the feeling that many black ppl have that the successes and failures of other black people reflect on them. When we see a black man do well in the world we are proud of him, he is one of 'us' he could be our cousin, brother, or father. Likewise when black men try to rob a Burlington Coat Factory in Inglewood at 8am and hold the employees hostage in a standoff with police-we feel a sense of shame and wonder whose Bebe cousins thought robbing a store BEFORE IT EVEN OPENS was a good idea! So when Gabby Douglas delivers an amazing display of gymnastics it feels like my little sister just did something incredible with the whole world watching. I'm not a nationalistic kind of person, and only watch the Olympics occassionally but I must say-I am some kind of proud of one Gabby Douglas.

5. I'm old. You wanna know how I know? I went out Friday-Mon this past week and that completely wore me out. Tonight, a Friday night. I am super crunk to stay home and sew tonight. Sewing on a Friday night at home alone. The life of a star I guess.