The latest...

...I love the song "Make you feel beautiful" by Ruben Studdard. Definitely the best song he ever did. I love it when people give me genuine compliments. Not some half drunk dude telling me I'm sexy or some big burly dude telling me to "come here, you pretty" at wal-mart. One of the best compliments I ever got was from this guy I sat down next to at a TYP event who when I sat down said "You know why all these men are staring at you right? I mean yes you are beautiful, but look at your face-who wouldn't want their children to have that face. Your genes would make beautiful kids." That made me feel beautiful.

...Lawyers are a bunch of children. They are fussy, can't sit still, always complaining, always bickering, always trying to out do someone else. I'm at a deposition in a hotel conference room with over 25 attorneys. Most of these ppl practice this particular law for their firms and so they regularly see each other at these depositions. These sort of depositions last for what feels like an eternity (I too am a lawyer and therefore a complaining whiny child about having to sit in an air conditioned room all day cruising the internet and taking notes on occassion) we've been at it for a total of three days and someone estimated it could go as long as three weeks....THREE WEEKS hearing this man explain in excruciating detail every single pipe, copper, lead, iron or otherwise, that he ever laid in CA or Ohio over his nearly 50 year working career....the upside and the reason that really none of us should be complaining is that we are for the most part paid well, and really we are not working that hard, if at all, while we are here, plus the billing is awesome...but its boring, and since we are all a bunch of impatient lawyers regardless of the positives all we talk about are the negatives, and show up each day hoping the plaintiff doesn't feel that good today so we can get out of here early.

...That's the other thing. This job makes me insensitive. I should say-more insensitive. Here I am at this deposition because this gentleman is asserting that one or all of our companies products exposed him to enough asbestos so as to give him lung disease. Lung disease is bad and I know that. But prior to meeting the man he was just a case, a stack of papers on my desk, exaggerations by his attorneys, court hearings, and a discussion of strategy about how to get out of this. when asked if i could attend this deposition I told my paralegal-only if he's dying, if he isn't dying I don't want to go, b/c the un-sick ones talk too much and too long. But sitting here that first day, meeting him, hearing him talk about how miserable his life has been since his diagnosis i couldn't help but feel bad. His life is in its final months/years, and all I can think about is how I hope he gets worn out sooner rather then later so I can get out of here. I understand why ppl think lawyers have no souls, we deal with death and injury in the abstract-not as a plight of the human condition but instead as lies and exaggerations to weasel monies out of our clients. It gets hard to feel bad for ppl who slip and fall end up with a bruise and torn pants and then seek a million dollars. And to think I used to be known as a "bleeding-heart liberal"...

...The Beyonce Experience was an experience, to say the least. She was surreal. Tonight I'm seeing Eric Roberson...this is a great week for music.

...I'm not a patient person. The entire time my parents were here, my dad kept saying "you need to learn to wait, everything is not right now, practice patience". I'm impatient. But I've been asked to wait. And while it is for something that I want, waiting just doesn't seem fair...why should I have to wait, I would never ask that of someone...and how do I know that the payoff really exists, or that it will be what I want/need...that requires faith...so now you're asking for patience and faith, belief in the assured expectation of things hoped for though not beheld. Have I really been assured? Do I really believe? Who knows...

...My firm retreat is this weekend. I am hype. Resort hotel, open bars, the beach, just the type of solo retreat that I need. My work friends might have some hurt feelings when I opt to hole up dolo in my hotel room...I love nice hotels...so relaxing. So yeah i'm hype.