Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Catch 22

In an effort to feel better...

I told the ghost that he was complicating my life and I couldn't take it. He's backed off. Which is much better.

I told Mr. Be Patient that I needed to not talk to him for a while. I know its whats best for my mental health, for my state of mind, its the only way to finally fully heal, and to be honest it feels like he is driving me literally crazy and I can't have that. But i don't feel better...no weight has been lifted...it just feels idiotic to cut out someone who makes me very happy about 30% of the time...but that 70% really sucks, and I deserve better. So i'll just wait till it feels better, till i don't think about him, till this blows over.

in the meantime i think my stolen phone may be a bit of blessing...I now have a valid reason to get the new hotness that i've been wanting, and i get a break from the phone for a week or so. while i do feel like i'm missing something, and i do kinda worry that I will blow a tire and be a mile from the nearest call box, but its nice to go home in the evenings and not have to worry about talking to and catching up with "everyone". plus i can't call or text him...

"How many times does it take to learn just one thing,
'cause I keep ending up here
And I'm not a scientist so I just keep on praying that I won't
Keep getting the same results each day
I said that I can't be with you
But when you turn away I pull back your hands to stay" Goaple "Catch 22"

I've always loved that song. I also discovered Raul Midon this morning. I was familiar with a few of his songs, but now I know his name...he's great. Eric Roberson is back in town this Sunday even though I just saw him, and I was just saying that I was going to sit down this weekend and chill...I can't bring myself to miss him. He moves me, consoles me, speaks to and about me...I can't miss that...I need that.

So yeah no phone, the new phone I want comes out on Monday, it will take a couple days to get to me...I can wait...somehow I managed to live and not get stranded on a regular basis before I had a cell phone. I'm sure I can manage for another 7 days...

3 comments:

Vickilyn said...

It's not fair. I think Eric Roberson LIVES in dang LA. I've only seen him once. And the last time he came to STL was on a random Sunday and I didn't hear about it until the last minute. No updates on his pages (myspace or web) as to him ever coming to the south.

So who is this mystery man "blast from the past." I say leave him be. . .

What new phone comes out?

jendayi said...

Ooh. A new phone. I've been thinking about indulging as well. It's time for a new one cuz mine sucks.

I was hoping that you would find peace without your phone... These few nights without can be great.

Erro is coming? I want to go, but I don't. Plus I'm broke. Hmm, I wonder why?

Cheer up lady.

ebfareast said...

the ghost?! you datin' a white boy?