Humble-Bumble

So i'm sure that by now all of you (my two, maybe three readers) have heard about the sniper that was downtown today, right. Protesting Lindsay or Paris, or whomever, being just generally cra-cra and shooting all willy nilly. Well your girl was down by the courthouse when it all went down...and I heard that first shot and hit the deck, nevermind that I lost my shoe in the process, nearly skinned my knee, i knew that if I was going to save my life and the life of the 96 year old widow whose life I also spared on my way down in a very Jack Bauer fashion, I had to sacrifice my limbs for the greater good....what...huh....whats that now, you didn't hear anything about a sniper downtown...nothing huh...and whatcha say now, you think that I was walking to fast b/c i was running late to court somehow forgot how to walk and/or wear shoes for a second, walked out of said shoe and barely managed to keep my noggin from hitting the pavement in a spectacle of Beyonce proportions on a major downtown street, not far from the cross walk where all the other attorneys were crossing the street to also get to court...Oh. Well I guess that could have been the case as well.

The funny part is I can totally imagine how it looked, i was walking past some parked cars, so you know how ppl pretend to walk down imaginary stairs, they just crouch down "step" by imaginary "step" behind an object. That's what it had to look like, because after walking out of my shoe my next step was a crouching/not trying to touch the dirty ground with my foot move, just before i was completely spralled out on the pavement, bag also on ground, somehow next to me and no longer on my shoulder, stuff falling out, mascara rolling away...then a very kindly man who literally said to me "Ay Dios Mio are you OK?", first told me to stay down, like I was 86 and may have broken my hip or neck, (he even looked around like he was going to need some assistance getting me to the emergency room or something) and then helped me up when it was clear to him that I wanted to be off the ground. He picked up my sad rolling away mascara and other belongings, handed me my bag and blessed me with the blood of the Christ...Aside from a scratched leg, some sort of injury to my foot, and sore pride i'm fine. But man I bet that was funny!