Music makes me...

My mood yo, it has been up and down! I had an irritating early morning wake up call this morning. I hate when ppl who KNOW that I am sleep, or will likely be sleep, call me in the morning. Why are you calling me? What can't wait until the afternoon? So yeah that got me up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. But then in a wonderful turn of events, work was really empty, and it was lovely and sunny, and I wanted to go get food from my favorite new soul food vegitarian spot...so at about 3:30...I opened up the roof on the newly clean, sparkly whip, blasted the Kidz in the Hall Geniuses Need Love Too mixtape and bounced. That definitely made for a nice afternoon.

My other newly discovered musical gem is Pacific Division they have a blend tape that is pretty hot. I love it when hip hop is light and fun, full of punch lines, and wit. This kid Wordsworth used to be one of my favs he is now with a group called EMC I believe, I downloaded their mixtape, but haven't heard it in the car yet-I haven't listened to something until I've heard it in my car. I also listened to Snoop's Ego Trippin today, it wasn't bad. I'm not a Snoop fan really, the only album I can recall hearing in full was Doggystyle other then that I hear only the singles. But this album was pretty good. I had burned it for my little brother along with a bunch of other stuff, that when I got there and saw that his lip was busted from some fight that he got into over a girl at school, I regretted burning for him at all. I know the music didn't/doesn't affect me (although my language skills and "colorful" verbs and adjectives tend to take a serious turn for the worst when I OD on rap) I just feel like he is so much more impressionable. And its not just conceit on my part, I just see him trying so hard to be "hard" and from the streets and all that crap, I worry that one day he might actually fool someone into believing that he is in fact a threat. Not sure that Lil Wayne and Rick Ross will help or hinder him from getting there, but I just feel obligated to do whatever I can to keep that from happening. He makes me so glad that I don't have kids and that I don't want any. I love him, but good Lord he is an idiot. Not that he's academically dumb, he's just a 16 year old boy and in my opinion they are not exactly built to make good decisions. He is however cute, funny, charming, and mannish...thankfully he hasn't quite yet mastered how to put all those qualities together but when he does...I fear.

I feel the need to put on something sexy and go get hit on by men this weekend. I need some male attn. But I am a one night only kind of girl, I only want to talk to you while I am at the establishment. Once we leave here I really don't ever want to see you again. I am into ppl based on the circumstance of our proximity...for instance if I meet/see Tom (random name used for example-lets say he is just a dude, not someone i'm blown away by-just some dude) at the gas station or grocery store, I am highly unlikely to talk to him aside from "excuse me". But if I see the same Tom at a club or lounge I might talk to him purely b/c I need/want someone to talk to. I'm still not attracted to him, I don't want him for any purpose, I just want to meet someone new and learn about them. And thats it. Whether we hit it off or not, there is nothing as fun to me as that initial meeting when I get to learn all the superficial fun stuff about you. We get to be flirty and light. A second meeting is never as fun, and feels so much more contrived. I try to explain this to men, they don't seem to get it. I think their instant mission is to get the number and the eventual goal is to get the goods-I vote no on both. So does that mean I am wasting their precious club time chatting them up knowing fully well I have zero plans of helping them accomplish neither of their missions? Should I start with a disclaimer: "Hi, I'm Jennifer, I'm going to talk to you, flirt with you, maybe even dance with you, my friends and I are going to laugh and joke with you, lavish you with attention and make onlookers believe that you are in fact the man. All of these actions will result in you thinking you have a shot at me/possibly us...you don't. Any questions?" OOOhhhh maybe when I introduce myself I should say FYI there is fine print. If they casually dismiss the comment I don't bring it up, if they ask then I give them the disclaimer...Because for whatever reason me simply saying, you are never going to be able to get me on the phone, or you will never be able to pin me down to a date, isn't working. They are not convinced.

Ok well its time for LOST!