AI: Group 2-Top 36

Hey all,

Sorry I missed it last night, I was just too tired. But I'm on it tonight yo! Let's get it!

Jasmine-she is adorable, so much makeup though for such a young girl. She can sing though, this song is an ok choice for her, but I think its clear that she has a bigger voice then we are seeing. However I do want her to stop swinging that weave around. I think Simon has a point that she isn't quite ready...she is only like 13! All this commercial talk is irritating...

Matt G.-The dueling piano guy i liked him in the beginning. I hope he does well...He loves vests. This is the whitest song imaginable, and its so fast...good lord. can he slow it down? And what is this song even about, i heard Jerusalem, st peter...what??? This is so bad. This song totally screwed him. It was too fast and didn't allow him to even really sing...it was horrible. If this were the first time i'd seen him I would be like how did he get here?? He wants to do pop/rock?? why? His voice is soulful...maybe he is in the klan and his family thinks soul music is the devil's music. He is from some nowhere place in Missouri-where ever that is...

Jeanine-DC Bartender, who i think that I might hate...It's the lacefront wig, the booty shorts, the injected fish lips, and the fact that she just did the AKA hand gesture on American idol for no apparent reason, other then to get votes. She can sing, but that is not a singers song...now she looks irritated about all the talk about the legs...ummmm you have on shorts up to your whoo-ha of course they are going to talk about your legs. Be glad that aren't talking about that horrible wig.
And why is Ryan so awkward today? why is talking to the ppl after so painful?

Nick/Norman-Still with the jokes...(the receptionist for my floor had on a purple headband like that yesterday-it was the gayest funniest thing ever). Wait...he sounds terrible. it's funny, in a sort of laugh at a retarded persons jokes kind of way. But the singing was bad. The problem is that b/c Simon hates him ppl will vote for him, but he should not be taking up a real spot on the show...YAY Paula is drinking again, she doesn't know who is talking to her, she is confused. I love it. Ryan on the other hand...is making these little post performance convos uncomfortable!

Allison-hmmm she only has braces on the bottom. Is she high? Why can't she converse normally like a person. She is so awkward...She is so strange. She can sing her behind off though...wow. This pinky ring is distractingly dumb, but then again she is 16, its probably from her favorite store-Spencer's in the mall. See she disproves the whole commercial bull crap, she is a Vato's (for those not from CA, that is what the Mexican gang members are called) daughter, she is soooooo hood, but she can sing like nobody's business and that's all that matters for this. I hope this little ghetto girl wins the whole thing just to prove the point!

Ok this kid is so boring I didn't even catch his name, nor was I motivated to rewind to find it...lol. Ahh Kris Allen. He sings like he had a stroke...a little paralysis on that one side. He LOOKS like apple pie...I don't think this song was completely wrong, he did it up at the end, but he's still really boring, the first half wasn't as good as the second. America's little girls are going to love him...but he looks sickly when he rubbed his stomach like that the first thing that came to mind was "I wonder if he has a colostomy bag?" Poor sick boy.

Megan-tattoo sleeve. I remember liking her voice. She is probably going to sing something dumb. Ok, don't dance if you don't have rhythm....white stockings really? is she a nurse in the 1950's during her off time? This sad, sad dance is the worst. This song is not demonstrating that she can actually sing, that's too bad. Oh its so bad the movements, the arms, the notes...jeez. Stop moving re-re. Even while Paula is talking...and did Paula just do "I heart u" with hand signals...that definitely means alcohol is in that cup! lol Also what is Ryan wearing?? he looks like he should be parking my car, or bowling...This is a strange (terrible) show tonight...

Matt-the welder from Oklahoma...he informs us that he doesn't "usually get starstruck"...ummm are there a lot of celebrities hanging out on construction sites in Bixby, OK? What were these other opportunities you've had to hone your not getting startstruck skills, since you know "usually" you can hold it together? Numbnut. This is an excellent song choice for him...finally someone who knows their range/abilities...also i remember loving this song. He is not a performer, he is a welder. yes he's boring. everything about him is boring. Really, he showed so much promise? When? I never expected him to do anything other then what he did. If he had danced that would have been strange. Also he is sweating like a stuck pig. get him a napkin or something.

Jessi-(jeez this show feels long) 8 yr old kid-wow that is an old kid for such a young woman. Bette Davis eyes? Never heard it. I think this chick can sing though, she might be anorexic though. Also, this is a boring song. With these last two performances I feel like I'm in a doctors office or waiting room of some sort. There was no impact with that song. She looks like a mom going to the mall, definitely better then the drug addict look she had before...she talks too much though. I, per usual, agree with Simon, there was nothing about that that I will recall later, and really no one that I run to the phone and vote for. (let's pretend I watched this the day of and actually have the option to call in :)

(Three more!!!???? Good lord)

Kai-with the hat he has a great/handsome face...but that hair is the absolute worst! I feel like I am on a cruise. He can sing, but something is off/missing. I don't know. He needs a makeover for sure. His sick momma sure is getting her groove on....umhmmm. Ok i take it back, he is goofy looking!
So this is an example of why I hate this 12x12x12 version of the show. Who they pick to be in which group of 12 controls who moves on...putting Danny (dead wife guy) and Anoop (indian boy that loves blk music) in the same group of 12 killed Anoop's chances, whereas there isn't a guy yet that I think ppl will really vote for, so Anoop would have definitely won this group. Its still not completely fair...dag blasted American Idol.

Mishovanna-She is so cute! Wow she is flat chested, like concave almost. Ok i got tricked again, she isn't really cute, its those darn pictures...I have to get that photographer to shoot me! Oh yeah she sounded great, i liked the outfit, it was cute for her. She also should lighten her hair, and NEVER do that deep voice again, b/c now not only do i think she is crazy I also thing she may be a hermaphrodite...

Finally the end...

Adam Lambert-Emo theatre baby: His skin is so bad...all that makeup he wears. Satisfaction?? really. His shoulder pads are hilarious...is that a shark skin shiny suit? All that genital touching, and the plethora of necklaces....he is a drug and alcohol problem waiting to happen and I am excited. He LOVES some pants in his boots...that is so funny to me. Oh yeah and he sang great. His hair made me weep a little bit though.

Alright let's see who won...

Ok why is the old black girl ( i don't recall her name) looking like Daisy Duke? Really shorts with suspenders, and an entire tube of lipstick? If she just wants to do adult film she is working too hard.
Interestingly this group number isn't horrible, their voices actually kind of sound all good together. that might be a testament to Ne-yo's writing, or they may be vocally well matched.
I hate this talking part...so pointless.
Ok so the ghetto Mexican girl is in...that was good. Someone should tell her however that the dress/skirt she is wearing is not flattering to her at all...
Wow this guy won...still don't know his name...oh Kris. everything about him is dull to me...perhaps he'll get interesting later on. If that dueling piano guy hadn't picked that stupid coldplay song this could have been him.
Brooke White performed...still america's syrupy sweetheart. *eye roll*
And Adam Lambert-Emo theatre baby is the third winner, and his jeans couldn't be tighter, nor could he be more pretend hard rock guy, when he and his husband adopt their first Malaysian baby he is totally gonna look back on this tape and laugh and laugh at this phase in his life.

Alright next week I should be on schedule, see you then!